Modern Nursery Rhymes

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again,
and again, and again.

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels,
a waterfront condo, and a sports car.
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Visit from the Sex Fairy

This is hilarious! Be sure to read the warning at the bottom. I didn't
change a word! I'm not messing with the Sex Fairy!

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make
love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair
shine and skin smooth.
=============
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering
dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the
pores and makes your skin glow.
=============
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that
romantic dinner.
=============
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and
tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than
swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
=============
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins
into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with
a feeling of well-being.
=============
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually
active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones.
These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
=============
7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE
EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_VSXXXXXX46US
[http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_VSXXXXXX46US]
=============
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages
saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that
causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
=============
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the
tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
=============
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural
antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
=============
This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is
in a room in the basement of the Dwight House Pub. It has been sent
around the world nine times. Now sex has been sent to you. The "Hot Sex
Fairy" will visit you within four days of receiving this message,
provided you, in turn, send it on.
If you don't, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of
your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will
rot and fall off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need
sex (who doesn't?). Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has
no price.
Do not keep this message. This message must leave your e-mail in 96
hours. Please send ten copies and see what happens in four days.
Since the copy must tour the world, you must send it. This is true, even
if you are not superstitious.


Sometimes the truth is so confusing its
elusive and reality becomes illusion
If I show the world where we were at and
where we were going
Id confuse the social balance of the world
as we know it

Freedom of Choice

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each
other.
-Eric Hoffer (1902-1983)

Amazing thing

read this

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the
hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht
oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny
iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the
rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can
sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef,
but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

yaeh and I

awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so
cool!!!
If you can udernatnsd tihs rdanieg, rpeost it!!!
NOW

Message Posted By: Czryn_aleckzandrei

Tsunami - Very Strange Indeed

No animals died in the Tsunami (Tidal Wave) that happened on Christmas.
Because of their "common sense", the animals left before the incident
occured. So what are "we", that we can't tell when there's something
dangerous about to happen? Are we Jackasses, or just not paying
attention?